Ever been surprised by who you are? I mean, as opposed to who you thought you might be?
I know that my identity is in Christ… who I am is His daughter… so perhaps I don’t precisely mean “who you are” as much as I mean, “what you’re like“… truly.
Lord willing and I live, as of next month my mother will be in Heaven 21 years. I was bearly 27 when she passed over and, she told me once that God told her I am a serious-minded person with a deep-seated desire to be frivolous. He was so right! It’s still that way… and I recognized it yesterday for the first time in years, I think.
Oh, lawdy… Sharon’s writing again!
When I chose the “Piano Black” Word Press theme and then put my picture on it in the background, folks, I almost fainted! (Slightly hyperbolic speech but, you get the effect, right?) I was – more accurately – definitely taken aback when I saw myself there, because I saw my mood… I saw my seriousness… I saw myself more plainly and more clearly than I have since I started this diary blog with flowers and clouds and smiley faces.
Okay, THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH ANY OF THOSE THINGS. And, in truth, I have them residing deep within me to keep me strong and even and liquidy with the Lord and the world around me. His JOY is our strength, and I am indeed no exception in terms of needing it. I love those things, truly. (There I go over using the word “truly” again… it’s one of my favorite). Those things – all of them – were born in me and reborn in me when I became reborn in Jesus. I thank Him.
However… the greatest side of me is not the silly side everyone in my fellowship thinks it is. Heck, it’s not what I HAVE thought it is… what I wished for as a youth as my mother told me God advised her. It is the “side” of His Peace within. The side of His Peace. Jesus’ Peace is within me, upon me, manifest in me daily, and I have never known such contentment with that, ever. It’s Peace within that is the greatest side of me. And HE HIMSELF IS OUR PEACE the Bible says. Yaay! That makes SUCH sense in light of what I saw when I viewed this new theme yesterday.
There is a place for silliness within me full of smiles and JOY and satisfaction and contentment, certainly. But there also is a place of QUIET Joy and solitude that I intensely enjoy and to which I gravitate. I’m not the jokester I always wanted to be, but I make people laugh. I’m not a stand-up comedian (never really wanted to be), but I give people something to think about with my writings.
I am, however, a loving friend and tireless servant of God. The tireless part has to do with my love of Him, my devotion to Him, and my endless references to what He has done for me. It has nothing to do with a thrust or drive for philanthropy or anything nearly that virtuous! It’s all because of what God does for me in making things quiet and even and peaceful and beautiful so that I can think and breathe and move and hear His Voice. Without that, the blogs would be nothing; and I saw all of that come alive in me and in my expression in this diary’s format when I changed the mood of my circumstances here, yesterday.
My eyes are closed in that picture. One, because I didn’t want to publish a photo of me looking at you… it could prove distracting; and, two – because when I think towards God and Heaven and major things like that, my eyes are closed to give me mental measurement and focus and just room to breathe in my thought processes. Know what I mean?
It’s more of me I’ve published here. More indicative of what I’m really like, and I’m blessed by it.
I’m quiet, and Peaceful, and Thoughtful. I’m grateful to Jesus for it all.
Everybody have a wonderful evening, and God bless you!