After years of cowering in the face of my true feelings, recently I was enabled by God to honestly express them.
I need to be a bit vague here (and you’ll please forgive me for that) because this diary blog is public; but, basically, I told a friend how I really felt about our ability to relate to one another, socially. I know it landed hard and, truthfully, I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop, if you get my meaning.
Socially speaking, you can love someone and not get along with them well. You can love someone (and even like them) and still not get along with them well enough for long-term visits. I believe “short doses” of exposure are the remedy for that. Boundaries help in the interim.
A Gift in “Twindom”
Besides the Lord, no one brings me joy like my twin sister in the Lord, Lynette. [I cover that truth and testimony with Christ’s Blood, and I forbid the enemy any access to it, whatsoever, in Jesus’ Name.] Through nearly 18 years together, we’ve had our hardships, but all of them have come from outside circumstances and people. One-on-one, just she and I (long-term, short-term, and in-between), we get along absolutely famously; we truly do consider ourselves (practically) the same person, and we regard that as a precious gift. As I’ve spoken of before, we are joined in spirit, not in flesh, but God has indulged our spiritual “sisterhood” quite mightily, especially over the past five years. The key to that was our decision to grow even closer to God, individually. That’ll do it for any relationship, especially where the basic personality flow is compatible.
It’s No Sin to be Opposites
Though we both love God, the friend I began speaking about has a personality entirely opposite from mine in terms of likes and dislikes, habits, demeanor, opinions, and other general preferences. That’s certainly not a sin of any kind whatsoever; it just makes us socially incompatible. Over the years I’ve hidden my true feelings, as I said earlier, due to fear of confrontation, and guilt. Though, occasionally, certain parts of extended, one-on-one exposure were nice, for the most part it was something I decided to grin and bear, and that was wrong of me.
Now, the Lord has gotten me over all that. When we let God control our circumstances in life, He will fix it so that honesty can prevail alongside kindness. My confession to this friend was not harsh or unkind, just honest; it hit hard because of its nature, not its delivery.
I know my honesty pleased God, but that’s all I know right now. Future entries are a certainty on this subject. Until then, please pray for me.