Either people love me or hate me; there’s rarely any middle ground. What a raw deal…
Even though I’d say the majority of those I’ve met in life have loved me, the ire and jealousy and hatred from those who haven’t is often too much to take… until I listen to Jesus.
“Persevere in love,” He says… He always says. Wow. To me, there’s nothing in the world that’s more easily said than done. At times I wish words like “perseverance” and “endurance” did not exist – until it comes to me being the recipient of such forbearance and benefit. Just being real here.
At times I make people sick and, believe me, they make me just as ill. It’s usually then that Christ puts His fragrant forehead to mine and says, “Persevere… persevere in love, the way I did for you.”
There’s the kicker; the way He did for me. It makes me want to slap myself until my ears bleed. I’m just as human as anyone else when it comes to not wanting to be bothered. It comes down to choice with me – personal, critical, all-important, and extremely difficult – just like it does anyone else. I’m in no ivory tower…
Beating my head against the wall only yields a headache.
Whatcha gonna do, Sharon? You gonna love like Jesus says, or you gonna run and rebel? Sucks, doesn’t it? BOB’S YOUR UNCLE, IT DOES! Especially when the flesh has got a laundry list of offenses it keeps wanting addressed. Giving it all over to Jesus is THE LAST THING the flesh wants me to do! The flesh wants to bitch – plain and simple.
Yes, you heard me. Just being real. (Jesus knows I’ve said “bitch” before…)
Well, I want to see the people who hate me spanked and spanked hard… then I can consider loving them unconditionally. Punishment! I want punishment… until it comes to me. Sometimes I’m worthy of hate, but I don’t talk about that. Looking at myself honestly is often the only thing that saves me; only Holy Spirit can facilitate that.
I have all His attributes within me because I’m Abba’s child. It may be close to impossible to believe at times, but I am, and it’s the most amazing part of being me… not being “me” at all, but tossing me aside because Christ lives in me. That’s the only way I can keep loving the unlovable – starting with me. Okay, so I’ve chosen. Once again, I’ve jumped up and down and frothed at the mouth while the flesh in me flailed wildly… and then I made my choice to crack the flesh in the head and shove it into the closet and lock the door. Walking away from it is often the hardest part.
So I jump into the arms of Jesus so I can be okay. He doesn’t mind if I cry or call the flesh names. He just wants me to obey so that I can be saved from the ravages satan has in store for me if I take that stupid, dangling, chocolate-dipped carrot of the flesh and hate the sinners instead of their sin. What a punk…
So I jump into the arms of Jesus… so that I can be okay. There, it doesn’t matter whether I am loved or hated by others. All that matters is that I obey and agree to continue to love, as He has loved me. That’s the conclusion of the matter.
Dear Lord Jesus, with You, I agree. I will soak Your shoulders with my tears as I continue to love, so You can cover me with Your Blood and keep my flesh in a sound-proof room while we see this thing called life to its finish. With You, sweet Savior and Lord… I agree.
Finally and Faithfully,
(And P.S., Jesus – Thanks for letting me be real!)