As much as I absolutely love writing, you’d think I’d sail through writing this book. I’ve written two Vision books already, but this is my testimony in book form… I think that’s the problem.
Even though Jesus has delivered me from the trauma associated with my early years, the empathic emotions associated with it remain. That’s how God works, allowing those of us who’ve moved on to retain the compassion necessary to minister to those walking where we’ve been.
Seeing demons and being adversely impacted by it – I’ve been there. Learning by degrees my authority in Christ and my identity in Him – been there, too.
Being molested as a child – been there. Learning to forgive that molester – recently been there, too.
Indulging in homosexual practices for years as a result of that molestation’s influence on my own choices – been there. Repenting for my part in choosing to embrace that lifestyle – been there, too.
Coming back to a faithful walk in Christ and losing my mother at age 27 – been there.
Enjoying victory and authority and discernment in Jesus Christ because of a million mega-deliverances, including a Freedom Encounter – I’m still there.
So what’s the problem writing this book? I suppose the same difficulty it would present anyone upon revisiting a treacherously dark place. You know, Jesus doesn’t have any attachments to the enemy and vice-versa, but it greatly saddens and disturbs Him to walk through the caverns of Hell. It’s just a place where nothing Godly belongs.
As long as I allow God’s truth and identity to move through me, I can bear the emotional effects and give testimony in joy, but that’s not always easy for me… so I avoid the writing. I stay in the happy neighborhood God’s moved me to without booking flights down to the “hell” that used to be.
Sounds like I need (yet) another deliverance, doesn’t it? Well, if so, ain’t no big, because I know it works. Been there.
So, Shamma, p l e a s e … write the book!